she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
