Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The adults are the big ones right?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
