oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
