I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
