we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
