guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
