No awkward lesbian experiences without me
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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