its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
