And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
