i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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