Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
