Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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