someone get that fucking seahorse.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
