don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
