I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
