i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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