i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
