whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
