Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
