I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
