all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
