you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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