Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
