Sacagawea was the original milf.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
