I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I want a musical about memes.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
