Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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