I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
