I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
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