Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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