white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
