I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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