i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
