let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
did i walk over a car last night?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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