Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
