Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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