she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
