My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
