forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He better not be in your backpack
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
