I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
