Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
