pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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