you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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