C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
