i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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