Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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