I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
