Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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