it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
