Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
