If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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