Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
