I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
