as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
